My Son's Birth Story

When we were still dating, my husband and I both talked about how much we wanted children. When we got married, things just didn’t seem to work out naturally. After trying for a while and seeing several doctors, we were told we were infertile – the big I word. We were not daunted because we really believed (and still do) this was the Lord pointing us in the direction of adoption.

We didn’t really know where to start, so we prayed intensely and just started calling all the agencies we could find in the phone book. We called so many and got so many funny responses! We had specifics in mind. Like we wanted to do an in-state adoption since it would be easier to travel to get our baby, and we wanted a baby so very badly. One by one, the agencies were ruled out for one reason or another. We felt so down-hearted because we really wanted a baby. We went home and cried.

The next week at work, I got a call on my cell phone. It was Grace Adoptions. We had left a message on their answering service. They were on vacation and had just gotten my message after returning. We asked them all our questions, and things sounded really good. I was standing in the hall at work talking to them, and had to go into the office again and get my husband immediately when I got off the phone. We took our break right then and RAN to the car to call them back. We told them we would be there right after we got off work. And we did!

We talked to them, and decided to start filling out the paper work right away. They could tell we were so excited, and they cautioned us that it could take up to about two years to have a baby. We understood. That is pretty common in this area. We filled out all the paperwork and returned it to them the Friday night before Labor Day. When we got there, they told us there was a woman looking at our information and wanted to see a portfolio. We stayed up all night long finishing it and brought it to them Saturday morning. Turns out that woman didn’t pick us, but the next woman did! She liked our information, liked our portfolio, and was due October 28! When the agency called and gave us this news, I just cried for a long time. I was so happy!

The birth mother wanted to meet us (understandably), and so we went with the agency to go meet her and her family. I was so nervous she wouldn’t like us or that I would say something wrong. We got there, and her dad and step-mom were so nice to us and offered us refreshments. Then we met her, and I will not say her name to respect her privacy. But she was nicer than all of them! She asked all kinds of questions, and being so nervous, I don’t remember a single one of them. She did tell us “It’s a boy!” I do remember that they asked if we wanted certain testing done, and we didn’t. We didn’t care if he had birth defects or what race he might be or any of that. We just wanted our son! So we went home and began the frantic process of getting our house ready for a baby and for our home study.

We cleaned and went out and got things and clothes and diapers and well, just all kinds of stuff! We had a rail put on our back porch, fixed the front walk, and put the crib together all in the same day. We rearranged our room and figured out where the bassinet would go.

The flurry of activity was over, and the time wasn’t up, and we began to get nervous. The law here says the birth mother can change her mind after the child is placed in the adoptive family’s home. She has 10 days after the birth to change her mind. So of course, that is what we were focusing on.

Then we got the call from the adoption agency that they were going to induce labor early on the 22nd of October. The birth mother had asked if we wanted to be there for the birth. Wow! I never thought I would get to be so lucky! Of course we wanted to be there! It was about a 2 hour drive, but we were there at 7 a.m. I had been working on crocheting a baby blanket for him, and I brought it along as it wasn’t finished yet. The birth mother (it’s so hard to not use her name!) really liked it! My parents, my sister and bil, my mil, and my grandmother all showed up and were waiting in the waiting room. There was all this excitement, but I was afraid to look too excited because she might think I was crazy and change her mind right then and there.

Turns out she had started labor on her own early that morning before even coming to the hospital. I was glad because this meant it was our son’s time to be born. The doctor went ahead and gave her pitocin to speed up her labor, and she had an epidural a while later. About this time, Michael left the room to give her privacy, but she asked that I stay with her. She said she wanted me to be there for the birth of my child. Lunch came and went, and I didn’t even realize it. Then after a check from the nurse, the whole room changed and went into activity. It was time to push.

Her step mother and I stood on either side of her head. She was feeding ice chips, and I was keeping a cool cloth on her head. It seemed like I was doing such a pitiful thing when she was doing such a wonderful thing! We were both holding her hands. Shortly after, the doctor said the baby is crowning. He asked if she wanted to look, but before she did, she asked me if I wanted to look. That was so special to me! I didn’t realize a baby’s head could look so big! But there he was – almost in the world as we know it! When his head came out, the cord was wrapped around his head twice, and they had to untangle him. Of course, when they said that I was terrified! But everything was o.k. As soon as his head was unwound, he began to scream! When his arms came out, he was waving them madly, and he grabbed hold of the scissors for his umbilical cord. The doctor commented on his strength (it was so cute!). Then all of a sudden, he was out, and the birth mother asked if I wanted to cut his cord. He told me it would be tough to cut and that some people had trouble with it so don’t feel bad. With all my adrenaline, it seemed like a hot knife going through butter. Then the nurses checked him and did all those little tests. The nurses were looking around confused about whom to give the baby to. The birth mother said to give him to his mother, and they handed him to me.

He was so tiny! He had been screaming this whole time, and as soon as I held him and snuggled him in real good, he got very quiet. He had such a solemn little expression on his face. He looked so wise and so small at the same time. Then it was time for his first bath and the measurings and such. I carried him down the hall to the nursery and stood there while they washed him gently and talked about how lusty his little cry was – he surely had good lungs! During this, all the family is watching at the window, but I was too amazed to pay much attention to them.

The hospital wasn’t busy, so they said we could room in with him in a recovery room. They had a lactation consultant come in and brought us a breast pump. He nursed really well, and we supplemented with a SNS (which I grew later to hate). He was actually in our arms and with us, and it didn’t seem real! Some of our friends had driven the 2 hours to see us, and I will never forget how special that was to us! They bought us supper, and were as excited as could be.

Well, remember the law that says the birth mother has 10 days? It crept by so slowly! On day 10, the phone rang. It was her. I was so terrified to pick up the phone, but I did. I’m sure we talked, but all I remember was her saying “It’s o.k. I’m not going to change my mind.” To me, those are wonderful words, indeed!